recently...

one of my favorite photos I took at the Getty Villa

Although I titled this post "recently" it seems I haven't actually made a post in quite some time.... like... a year. That's not very recent.. but life happens.. and that's what I've been thinking about a lot lately... life.. When you work for yourself, the line between life and work gets very blurred... a huge part of me loves that... loves that sometimes even my work doesn't feel like work because it just feels so much like life itself.. but also there is a part of me that feels I need to do a better job of separating them. I'm the type to take my job very seriously, but when it hardly feels like a job I sometimes get too relaxed in it... I do just enough... When I was working in a traditional setting I was very organized and had my calendar and planner all set and had my team's and my own tasks laid out and accomplished on schedule... but now that its just me, I find I don't hold myself as accountable as I did when I was working for someone else or had someone working for me.. I suppose that now when I look back on it I really thrived under that sort of pressure and responsibility... and not that I don't feel pressure now supporting myself on just my own efforts, but it feels totally different. It's all up to me now what I do... sometimes that gets really overwhelming and I end up doing too much and sometimes I take advantage of how relaxed it can be and do too little... even after two and a half years I still don't feel I've struck the perfect balance... I think I've gotten MUCH better at it, but still there are plenty of struggles. I procrastinate a lot on things that aren't top priority even though they still need to be done... I'm not as organized as I'd like to be... (after accidentally forgetting a couple of events I not only signed up for but also paid to participate in) I finally got a big calendar I do alright keeping up with.. I set reminders on my phone so I make sure and pay my taxes on time every month... I downloaded MileIQ so I'm not just guessing how many business miles I drive (which YIKES. its A LOT).... I do my best to get my custom orders taken care of and sent out as quickly as I can... but I fall short... often... obviously I forget I even have a website sometimes! I said on January 1 this year that I was going to make a much, much bigger effort to manage my time better and to balance not only life/work but also fun work/not so fun work better... and now its almost June and I can't remember the last time I filed a receipt... I'm not going to say I haven't done better in some areas... but still, in some, I need improvement. I'd like to post more frequently on here... I'd like to find a way to potentially get my online sales up again... I'd like to learn a few new skills (like some 'light' metalsmithing to make rings and bangles for example)... I'd like to get a savings plan going... I'd like to find some resources for better bookkeeping that's more specific to my work... I'd like to participate more in the maker community where I live... there are plenty of things I'd still like to do better or finally commit to doing! I guess I've just been sitting and dwelling on these things, but it seems when I talk about them or write about them I do hold myself more accountable... so that's what I'm doing now. I'm writing all this for you to see so that you can help hold me to these things! If I go a while without making a post on here, yell at me! I have a lot of new ideas brewing and I'm going to need to stay on top of EVERYTHING if I want to do it all well! I'm going to start putting the right kinds of pressure on myself... not for perfection because that keeps me from doing and trying things altogether sometimes... but pressure to just do better. starting right now! Stay tuned!